Lycanthropy

And I can’t sleep.  I just watched Gone in 60 seconds for the billionth time.  I had forgotten how much I absolutely love that movie…

I got a promotion and it sucks the end.

When everything you thought was okay isn’t?  And you are more confused than ever.

Before I left to go to Dublin I left the camera in the trunk of the mustang, and didn’t think that buying a disposal was worth the money, so no there will not be pictures.  However, I can say I had a GREAT time.  Opening a store is one of the best experiences I have ever had.  I had so much fun.  Now that I am back in town I know that everything is going to be smooth sailing and I REALLY hope that as me to open another one soon.  I don’t really have much to talk about, other than Tyler and I are going to go work out soon.

Well, not really I am about to be.  I just have to shower and wait on my clothes to get out of the dryer and then I will be on my way to DUBLIN.   I am so excited, and I can’t wait to be on my way.  Believe me there will be pictures.

So, I have to be to work soon and for once I really don’t feel like going.  I have so much going on right now I just really want to sit on my ass all day.  Saturday I head to the airport and then it’s off to DUBLIN!  I can’t believe that my job is paying for EVERYTHING.  I am so excited, and nervous being that Dustin is going to be here alone.  Everything is moving so fast.  Not to mention the entire Hawaii thing is still up in the air, and that is what I am most nervous about.

Whatever, it is wonderful that after about a year I am still on your mind and that someone who doesn’t even know me thinks of me enough to talk shit.

So I leave this Saturday to go open my own store. I am so excited. I am getting a a rental which is cool, staying in the Marriott, getting all my gas and food payed for, plus getting out of town pay. I am so EXCITED, and I can’t wait. I am sure there will be plenty of pictures and so on on myspace to follow. Tyler is back home too for good this time I think. We are having a kick ass Fourth of July party. Which is also cool. Other than that I don’t really have too much to talk about. Dustin and I are planning our vacation so were not entirely sure were we want to go yet.

I would just like to say the world sucks and it REALLY pisses me off. So here is my lovely story about my subway escapade.

First of all if you read my blog you must know by now that I am a manager in retail at this store (which legally I am not allowed to say the name of this store) in the middle of the FUCKING ghetto and my store happens to be the one in Tanger Outlet that supplies to all the FUCKING GHETTO people. These people are rude, beat their kids, threaten us, throw stuff at us, and even steal. Yeah, it sucks. Now, I have been really stressed lately because I have some serious stuff going on in my life and at work I deal with all the fucking ghetto bitches and I have to take it with a smile. So I open the store alone and my other person happens to be twenty minutes late and as soon as I unlock the doors like six customers leap in. The very first guy was a needy person who needed me to like hold his hand. The next person was yelling at me that I was being slow and needed to help everyone and then it NEVER stopped. So by twelve when Ro got there I had to smoke. Once I came in from a small break things just got worse. This woman calls Ro a bitch, two customers get into, and so on. Finally at two I was like bitches I am going to lunch. Now I had NO car that day and had to go to the food court. When I got there it was PACKED and every venue had a huge line, except for Subway so I of course went to subway. Well when I go to get to the line I notice this guy talking on his cell phone walking around. I wasn’t sure if he was in line or not so I waited. When the women comes to counter and says who’s next I wait. After a few seconds and he doesn’t move I go and get my food. AS SOON as the lady hands my change this fucking guy taps me on the shoulder and says, “Uh you fucking cut me and my fucking kids bitch.” And being that I am stressed at home and work I had a nervous breakdown that went something like this:

Me: “Fucking excuse me?

Asshole guy: “You fucking heard me bitch. What you think you can just get in line where ever you want?”

Me: “First of all FUCK YOU. I waited and you didn’t move so it isn’t my fault you are a FUCKING RETARD and couldn’t FUCKING MOVE WHEN THE WOMAN ASKED WHO WAS NEXT!”

Asshole Guy: “You better watch you FUCKING mouth in front of my FUCKING kids.”

Me: “I can say whatever I want asshole so FUCK YOU and your FUCKING KIDS!”

Asshole Guy: “Need security this fucking bitch…SECURITY!”

Bullshit a million year old security guy: “What is going on?”

Asshole Guy: “This fucking skank cut me an…”

Me (after cutting him off): NO THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE WAS TOO FUCKING SLOW AND I GOT IN LINE AFTER WAITING. THEN HE FUCKING BITCHES AT ME BECAUSE HE THINKS HE RUNS FUCKING TANGER.”

Bullshit a million year old security guy: “Ma’am you work here you can’t talk to him this way.”

Me: “OH FUCK NO! FUCK YOU AND YOU AND YOU! FUCK THIS WHOLE PLACE! I HAVE THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES TO GET ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE GET MY FUCKING FOOD AND EAT WITHOUT BEING FUCKING LATE. FUCK TANAGER. I CAN’T EVEN BUY A FUCKING COUPON BOOK! WE NEED A FUCKING LINE THAT IS JUST FOR PEOPLE WHO FUCKING WORK HERE. (Proceeds to throw sandwich but doesn’t and just gives everyone the finger and leaves.

Fuck this shit…Jess can I live with you?

All I do is work, and for some reason I am starting to get the feeling that it isn’t quit worth it. The more that I try to carry on the harder it seems to be. My future is starting to be very scary and I feel alone in it. I feel like this is all me and I feel like no matter what it is always going to be hard. I just wish that I hadn’t made so many mistakes and I could go some were were I felt like I didn’t have so many enemies and loved. Were people would help me…

On a lighter note my brother is here and hopefully I will get to see him tomorrow.

Yes, NINE days straight and I have a day off. Tomorrow. So, on top of things. I am working non-stop, I gave up smoking, and I have a cold because of it. Yes, I am giving up smoking. What have a been up to? Again…working. Tonight Dustin and I are at Dyce and Anna’s we wanted to see the babies and we did. So nothing much to talk about other than my snot dripping down my face and the bitcheness of my new non smoking body. Four days and counting. Jess, don’t let me go back.